Saviour

The night is deafening when the silence is listening

And I'm down on my knees, and I know that something is missing.

Because the back of my mind is holding things I'm relying in

But I choose to ignore it because I'm always denying them

I'm a bit of a manic when it's not as I plan it

Cause I start losing my head and then I get up in a panic

Remember when we were kids and always knew when to quit it

Are we denying a crisis or are we scared of admitting it?

I don't want to know

I just want to run to you

And break off the chains, and throw them away

I just want to be so much

And shake off the dust that turned me to rust

Sooner than later, I'll need a savior, I'll need a saviour

It won't ever change if you want it to stay the same

I really hate it but I know it's hard to choose if you're chained

And when it's all you control cause you've got nothing else to hold

You're getting tighter and tighter, it's getting harder to let it go

♥THE END♥

in case you've been wondering...

Small talk: I woke up half pass noon today feeling light headed & for the pass 30 minutes before now my stomach has been misbehaving like a bitch...FML

I have nothing witty, bitchy, thought-provoking or even emotionally influencing to write about so this post is going to be pretty much about me and my endless continuation on the quest to accomplish something.

Something you should know about moi is that most of the days, I wake up and in an instant I would go - "Oh I feel like cooking omelets today".
And from there I'll start thinking about googling various fancy omelet recipes and then I would decide to make a whole list of omelet recipes compiled in a book or start a blog/site about food.

And then the next waking hour, I would probably go like this - "Hmm... I should start writing a book!"

And the very next day or two I'll be - "Hey why don't I start dancing classes and join competitions"

Well by know I bet you know the drill. My "quest" for accomplishing something. It has to be something. And everyday, it's a different thing. So, sometimes my room might end up with various leftovers or half done products of my sudden urge to do something one fine day; waiting for the next "spring cleaning" session to take over and bring my room back to life.

Just the other day I had the sudden urge to photograph things. But the closest I got was taking self-shots while I was doing crunches and then deleting them off. So much for capturing little things and starting a photo-blog at Flickr.

Then came yesterday, I was blog-hopping and I ended up in Etsy. Long story short, my buried passion for jewelry making and handmade trinkets have resurfaced. Now, I feel like sewing. (Damn sometimes I irritate myself this way). Now my shopping list has a mini electric sewing machine written on it. Pfft. Speaking of saving up cash, this is not helping one bit. But then again I calmed myself by telling myself that this might turn out to be a successful business which in turn will bring in extra moolah. (smiles to self appraisingly) - "Now where did I chuck my old boxes of ribbons, threads, buttons, beads, glitters and trinkets??"

The question now is whether these fresh urges will...will... will... (damn what's the word again)...prevail??

For all I know I might be start loving the idea of baking cupcakes everyday like how Izzie Stevens did in Grey's. (oh wait a minute, I think that already happened!)

*sigh*
To leave me alone with my thoughts hanging lose - vulnerable and susceptible to sudden, random urges or ideas is the very least - hazardous to my savings account, my room and sometimes my family (esp. my Mom who constantly thinks I just need to sit still and be less imaginative)

Tell me now, have YOU had episodes of sudden urges or "quest" to accomplish something?
(please say yes)

♥THE END♥

on Good Wife reflection & a few things

Small talk: Blogger's image upload tool is being a complete biatch to me. I can't seem to upload any images! Being a visual person, I find this very irritating =(

On a shinier note, I am ecstatic! I got the job!!!! Well, it's just a temporary job while I'm on my 7 weeks semester break  but, heck, I got it. This means there's something for me to do. This means that I get paid. Oh I can go to sleep joyful tonight. (funny, not like I go to bed sulky the past nights but you get my point) I'll be starting next Monday and the best part is the office is just near my college =D

Although since last Thursday, I've not been complaining much of the sudden bucket full of free time I've had since my last paper ended, it would be really great to work and not to mention I need to cash. (not for shopping OK, I know what you guys are thinking) Actually it has been pretty far from it (complaining I mean). I've been indulging myself with lots of stuff I've not been able to make time for when I was way back being busy with assignments and exams. I even have time to do silly small things just because I have so much time to spare. 

Like checking out my blog's analytics the other day and this is what I found out:

My recent traffics were due to this post: How to be a Good Wife!!! 

For some reason, people are actually searching this phrase. Hmm... I find it a little interesting that there are a bunch of people searching this and I wonder - for research perhaps? mere fun of reading? Or someone's been a horribel wife and have decided to depend on guides like this perhaps? One word - INTERESTING. 

The last time I got something like this was when I blogged about CLEO's Eligible Bachelors and the trip I had to the doctor that resulted in my consumption of honey which - fyi - helps boost sex life (a fact I came across when I was googling about the goodness of honey). 

It really is interesting how one can have a slight knowledge of what others are looking up in Google / internet by random blogging and vice versa. (I should make a test out of this and start thinking of something else to blog about since I have so much spare time)

Right. There we are. LMC is signing off now coz she wants to head over to her fashion blog and update there.

~END~

Railway parasites

Small talk: Shopping spree is infectious. Interviews are dull. I cannot stress how much i loathe numbers this week and I am yet again sick of the train. Today's such a drag I practically cleaned my entire room and had everything rearranged, reorganized, grouped and color coordinated. I am amazed myself by what I did today. it will not last long for sure...

Now it has been quite a number of years that I've been taking the KTM train, KL monorail and Putra LRT. Although my usuals wouldn't be referred to as an everyday thing but it is frequent enough to notice several intolerable behaviors.

One that never fails to take place is the existence of "railway parasites". I coined this term in reference to passengers who are ignorant when it comes to other passengers and they always do at least one of these: A) hug the pole (nevermind whether they're sweating like Niagra fall; B) lean on the pole (doesn't matter with their entire back/butt/sides/front); C) not holding the pole but simply stand right in front of the pole giving no access to other passengers.

It's really fine when there's no one around that needs the pole for stability but when there are others who really need the poles, it is really thought provoking as to why these railway parasites are simply so ignorant or blind. Perhaps they have this innate fear that if they merely hold the pole with one hand they might fall and break their necks. Shrugs. Who am I to know right?

Anyway, if you're one of those railway parasites, come a little closer. I'm in a such a giving mood right now so let me share some secrets I have that could be rather useful in case miraculously all poles in the train mysteriously disappear (we should get prepared shouldn't we?) I bet that this pointers would be way more effective if not more interesting than what you parasites have already been doing to annoy others.

**1)
Now instead of using your energy to hug a pole tight or have your weigh all over the pole like you own it, why not stock up on some cement or maybe a super super glue - make sure there's plenty to soak you up. Go ahead to either end or corner of the train and glue yourself to the corners. Doesn't matter if it's the walls or the floor of the cubicle.
If you want to glue yourself to the ceiling, that would be creative as well!

2)
Another thing you could do is lay flat on the floor (if you want to additionally glue yourself to the floor - that would be creative!) and then let other passengers board the train and stand on your (bear in mind to let as many people as possible) and their accumulated weight will definitely hold you down so you won't fly or drop at all.

3)
OR you could purchase dozens of clear plastic wrappers (ya know the ones used to wrap up chilled or packed food at the supermarket or those that are used at home to sealed extra food; the ones that are stretchable, clear and would stick to the surface of a container containing the food. Then, just get any kind person (I'm sure someone would be willing to) just wrap you entirely to the pole. Every inch of you. Oh and make sure to stretch your arms out so others can hold on to you for support; in replacement of the pole.

Well, I guess that's about it. I'm out of ideas and I'm tired. But if anyone who has thought of anything else better than my ideas, why not share your secrets here so these pesky railway parasites can decide on the most creative way to "embed" themselves to the train so they don't have to hug or wrap their entire arms and body towards poles as if they own them poles. ;-)

~END~

What is wrong with me?

social psych social psych social psych...

There was this box right in the middle of nowhere and it is filled with a bunch of grey shreds of paper filled with thousands of scribbles...and then everything became so hazy as the wind blew up all the sand from the ground that supported the box - which I'm not even sure if it was pressed or pulled by gravity. 

All this studying is making me go nuts. I'll be back once I get myself together. :-S

Things To Do Before i Die - Revisited

For those of you who have read and followed this blog since I was just a newbie might have read this particular post before - titled - Things To Do Before I Die...

If you've not, here goes: CLICK HERE (click lar!!!! don't be so lazy alright... I purposely link this post here... )

Actually I don't really care if you click the link or not... no wait! I do care! So just click it. Won't die. (damn am I annoying this way but please pardon me. I just had a childish moment today at the park. It's still lingering deep down)

Ok moving on. The purpose of me linking that post is because this post is going to be...

THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE (revisited)

Plus I just realized something. I know we won't know when we'll die and we might die young. Just don't think too far from where we are right now and let's just focus being positive - which is that we will die when we're old and wrinkly and not anytime soon.

Now from that list (see I told you to click and read the link because now you'll be so lost), I've came across a couple of things that I doubt I will ever overcome the fear and do it. Even as I say this - it proves! Because I don't even have the confidence to thing the other way round. Pfftt.

Ok so anyway, what are the things on that list I was referring to???

THESE:

• ~Get the tattoo that I've always wanted @ my ankle
• ~Ride a big rollercoaster that rates at least 3 on a 1-5 scale (LOL i'm a coward this way)
• ~Learn to float & swim (yeah I can't you can stop laughing at me already)

Yes yes... say whatever you want to say. I know I'm a whim. I've never actually rode on an actual rollercoaster...ever. Well not yet. But I think I will never. If you (anyone of you) is able to make me do it, you're damn great!

And then I also came to realized that I left a few things from the list as well. (if you can't stand lists, just layan me for a while lar... I've been diagnosed with some random disease... I need attention =P)

Here goes:

• ~ To learn photography (don't know how to explain this but there's just a simple kind of wonder when I capture beautiful moments & I love photos that don't make sense at all)
• ~ To start the first chapter of a book... even if i don't finish it... all that matters is to actually start on it
• ~ To publish an article
• ~ To host a bazaar
• ~ To learn to watch a game without falling asleep or wanting to fall asleep
• ~ To buy something I really want with my own hard earn money
• ~ To go to Disneyland
• ~ To take a photo with a snake (oh boy where did this come from??)
• ~ To adopt a child
• ~ To invest in a restaurant

And the list shall stop here... reason why? Because I just feel so random today... must be those childish moments in the park this evening.

The Last Kiss

You don't know how
You don't know when
You don't know why

But you find the both of you falling from a tree
Landing hard on the dry hard ground
You both look at each other - questioning
And got the same answer - yes it hurts
But you both never expected so much pain could come from falling from a tree
Like every part of you is aching
Every bone - brittle and breaking down
Every muscle - tearing
Every skin - shredding

There's so much to say; so much to do
But every word feels so heavy - and so you both don't even want to try
Afraid that saying anything at all will tear your jaws apart

So you let the moment be that way
The both of you lying down on the dry hard ground - unmoved
Everything and everywhere starts to swell up
Every joint starts to strain - like you're being rip apart
Every ache, every pinch, every prick - gets worst
And yet words just pass through as thoughts
Neither the both of you mention a word, made a gesture, move a muscle...

Tree leaves start falling down like snow
Looking into each others' eyes - you both know it's time
Or is it?

And just as you both start to grab each other in the arms despite all odds,
A strong force pulls the both of you apart
And as you both brutally crawl towards each other,
Tears start to feel like broken glasses gliding down your cheeks
The last excruciating pain but it's too late

The final moment where you both almost touch each other,
There it was a painful sound
Bones break
Muscles tear
Skin shred
And as you open your eye, you both find the other is gone
And you remember the last kiss you had, the last embrace, the final touch...
Yes the last kiss and it's no longer there

Till you reach the day you lose "the other", you will never fully grasp that pain.
Don't take things for granted because then when you reach that day, it's too late to regret it all...

*to everyone I care & love*